So I was browsing the web and saw some blogs of people who had scoliosis and I was inspired to write. A school nurse found my scoliosis in 6th grade I think, I can't exactly remember when. So I started having visits with a surgeon at the Hershey Medical center. They took a million x-rays over the course of like four years I couldn't even tell you how many. During one appointment he had residents shadowing him and during this time he heard a heart murmur when taking my blood pressure. He had the other check it out and they heard it as well. So on top of my scoliosis I had to get tests for my heart done. I was only around 11 years old and felt so confused by everything and so overwhelmed because while all my friends were out doing things or in school I was at the hospital. I got an MRI, several echocardiograms and electrocardiograms. I had to take a stress test and visit the heart doctor as regularly as the surgeon. They diagnosed me with Marfan syndrome. Because of this I had the scoliosis, my long lanky body, and my heart condition (mitral valve prolapse). I felt like a total weirdo. The surgeon did not want to perform surgery unless completely necessary so he put me in a back brace for about a year. I wore it the entire 7th grade school year and was so embarrassed. Everyone would stare at me in the gym locker room when it was time for class and if someone accidentally bumped me and felt it they looked at me like I was a monster. It was the most horrible thing I've ever had to deal with. I was made fun of before this in middle school for being so skinny (due to the marfan) and people called me anorexic and this just made me an easier target. I had a good group of friends who stuck up for me so the bullying didn't bother me as much as it might have bothered others but it really took a tole on my self esteem. I was extremely insecure because while wearing the brace I had to wear huge sweatpants and huge sweatshirts to school every day. One day a week my dad would let me go to school without the brace and it was the best feeling, just being able to wear jeans and a tshirt.
The summer before 8th grade I was scheduled to have corrective surgery on my back. The 20th of August, first day of school. I saw pictures in the waiting room of the procedure and was scared but thankful it would be fixed. The day before the surgery I wasn't allowed to eat past a certain time and I was so anxious. I was telling all my friends I would see them after I got out of the hospital because they would be in school. I was wheeled away from my parents that morning and into the operating room. They put the IV in and then put the laughing gas over my face and told me to count backwards from 100. I was out before I hit 95. When I woke up the first thing I did was try to role over because I normally sleep on my side. I felt pain up my back and my dad told me to stay still and then I realized where I was. I passed back out. The second time I woke up I was up longer and my mouth was extremely dry. The nurse told my dad I could have some ice cubes but not too many because of the anesthesia. After a few hours they wheeled me up to a room with a tv and a very small couch, if you could even call it that. My sweet dad stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital, I think it was 3 nights, on that tiny couch. He said it was cold in the room but fell asleep and I was burning up so I called the nurse to turn the air down and she did and then I got sick. The next day I felt better, there was barely any pain. I had visitors and was able to call my best friend. I got a lot of stuffed animals and cards from people. On the second day they sat me up and I was walking around the hospital with a nurse. Then I had to go for more x-rays. After that I went to sleep. The next day when I woke up I was alone because my parents had gone to breakfast. I got up and walked to the bathroom myself, probably a stupid idea, but I got there and back with no problems. They discharged me that day.
At home that night I was running around like a crazy person. I was so happy to be home and there was barely any pain. I had to skip school for a few weeks and when I returned I only did half days for a while. After that I was back to normal.
My scar is very long up my back and I have a lot of restrictions. I can't bend my back to do a lot of things I want to and with my heart disease I cannot life weights or do contact sports, but I manage :) My confidence boosted around senior year and has been up every since. I have my days where I feel like shit because my shoulders are uneven and I still feel like a weirdo when I look in the mirror sometimes but I have awesome friends, family, and an amazing boyfriend that love me so I have no reason to worry. The surgery was the best decision ever and I feel great now. I don't talk to many people from my high school for the shit I was put through but I have a few close friends that I love so much. I know a lot of people that like to talk bad about others to make themselves feel better and I don't ever feel the need to call out others' flaws so I'm better off than a lot of people and I wouldn't change who I am for anything.
No comments:
Post a Comment